☀ equinox reflections ☀

I'm finally feeling like the fog has cleared and I'm ready to start 2022. It has been quite a few months and as I realize the balance now tips towards daylight here in the northern hemisphere, I am finding that I, too, am reaching towards more light in my life.

As I reflect on this past challenging moment in my life, I see it all capitulating around the fall equinox, when the nights started to lengthen. Do the stars and rotation of the earth really affect us humans that much? Sometimes I really believe so. I swear I am a novice astrology hobbyist but as I write this and do some side Googling, I see that the equinox is when the astrological calendar resets into the first sign, Aries.

With Aries being the sign of action, I am called to more forward-thinking and movement in my life. One, I want to reset my fitness routine. I honestly don't think I've exercised since 2020. I admit that I am a naturally small person, but as I start to care about my personal presentation and aesthetics again, I realize that I have neglected my physical body for some time. Speaking of movement, my healing practice of personal dance parties has reached a new high with the release of Charli XCX's latest album Crash last week. It certainly contrasts with her pandemic album how i'm feeling now being my soundtrack for the last few months.

My new "office" (a spare room with a desk in the corner, storage for all my clothes, and a spot for eventually filming my YouTube videos) is now unpacked and clean enough for me to turn on my disco ball and vibe out. I've also been creating mad Pinterest boards on how I want to decorate my space. And thrifting!! Now that I have a vision I am so excited to go out there and find some new treasures.

There are so many things tipping the scale forward for me now. I'm almost done my first half of my MSW. I can't believe I'm finally here after starting this journey in fall of 2019. After this semester I only have one more year left. With that being said, I am starting to consider what I want to do immediately after I get my degree which will influence what my last set of courses will be. Do I want to start my hours for my clinical license? Or do I want to dive head first into macro social work? I'm finally at a place where I don't feel like I am keeping my head above water and can think about these decisions.

Lastly, I am starting the second half of the last year of my 20s. In half a year I turn 30. I still identify a lot with the experience of young folks, but the realization hit that I was getting old when a 12 year old student I work with in one of the groups I run in my internship asked me what music I listen to. Without getting into it too much, I intern in a religiously conservative setting and I searched my brain for an artist I actually liked that wasn't too controversial. I said I liked Taylor Swift, and was surprised that they did not realize that the music she was releasing recently was re-recordings of albums she put out when I was in high school... 15 years ago... That is more than half of my life so far!

While there is still so much to life I feel like I have not experienced nor feel ready for, I am realizing that that decade of life between 20 and 30 makes a huge difference. It's not so much that I am different than how I was in my early 20s but that I more so know myself more deeply now. It's a comforting and grounding fact.

I hope I can continue to fill this season in my life with creativity, movement, and inspiration. If I can get to everything I want to do during my spring break I want to film the first video for my channel in 6 months. 'Til then!