garden revelations: cherishing the temporary

Last week my computer being out for repairs offered me a lot of time that I spent away from a screen. I elected to spend a lot of that time in my garden. Gardening is a lot of work - like a lot a lot. It's an investment in your home, in yourself, and in the land. However, recently I've been having to come to terms that my time in my current residence is not permanent and my excitement for my garden has quickly turned into questions of but what is even the point?

I need to take care of my compost and rotate my crops so I can add nutrients back to the soil! But what is the point if I'm not growing here next season?

I would be great to plant kale and lettuce for the cool weather season! But what is the point if I'll be too busy to take care of it?

I'm going to buy more soil to start more plants! But what is the point if I'm going to have to get rid of it all when I move?

This coupled with some bouts of blossom end rot, powdery mildew, and tomato hornworms was enough to discourage me from tending to my plants for a bit. However, when faced with tech-free boredom, I typically need a full-body experience to keep me occupied. Thus, I spent that time cleaning up some of the mess of dead seedlings, bolted lettuce, and overgrown tomatoes. Although it started as a chore and way to keep me busy, I ended up appreciating it as an opportunity for mindfulness and the revelations that come with it. While I was pruning an extremely overgrown tomato plant my mind began to process a lot of what I had been challenged with in the recent past.

My precious cat and soulmate had been to the vet a handful of times over the past few weeks to get various tests and examinations for a number of health issues: an ear infection, possible glaucoma, and worsening symptoms of feline asthma. The medical attention he needed not only resulted in quite hefty vet bills, but will also result in long-term medications and supplies, which I needed to figure out a way to pay for on top of my own survival needs, and having to move homes, once again. So I crunched the numbers to figure out a way to quadruple my cat's monthly costs as well as save nearly $2000 for pet emergencies on my $15/hour wage.

As I thought about the amount of effort and investment I was willing to put into my cat, something that in the totality of my lifespan will only be with me for a fraction, especially with his health issues, I began to question why I felt like I shouldn't invest in something just because it is temporary.

Then again, there is the option not to continue to take my cat to the vet and order his prescriptions - but doing so would be completely inhumane.

How many times have we as humans been inhumane to ourselves just because our situations were temporary? Because we knew relationships were going to be short-term? Because they weren't "the one?" Because this wasn't going to be our "forever home?"

In my 20s I've lived in nine homes in four states. Sometimes I've collected and hauled over artwork and decor from previous homes with plans to put them somewhere special only to realize when I'm ready to hang them up I'll be moving in two months.

But the philosophy of relationship anarchy has taught me that everyone and everything can be important and cherished in your life even if it's not meant to be forever. We probably don't spend much time thinking about how this planet will keep on existing far beyond our time on it, yet even though our time on earth is temporary, it doesn't mean we shouldn't invest and take care of it, ourselves, and each other.

I have about two warm months left in the garden I worked so hard to cultivate over the past five. So, I cleaned it up and bought a lounge chair from Craigslist so I can savor every moment of sunshine left of the summer in it. I scheduled more bloodwork for my cat and woke up at 4am to shove a pill down his screaming throat while making sure he gets lots of cuddles and fancy treats. I'll continue to remember that even though we continue to face systems of oppression and injustice, this life is all we have on earth and will do my best to enjoy it while getting free.